#Short Notes From Parenting Class

Bismillahhirahmaanirrahim.

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Last night, I have Parenting Class. It was been at night and it was also tiring for me.

baru balik dari kelas petang tu.. lepas asar sampai kat mahallah. sempat ambik nafas sekejap pastu siap-siap untuk ke kelas malam tu pulak.

Lebih kurang 7 petang lebih-lebih sikit, keluar dari mahallah. Berjalan menuju ke centre. Dalam perjalanan, sikit lagi nak sampai ke kulliyyah engineering, azan berkumandang.

Cuma mengeluh kecil, sebab waktu-waktu maghrib macamtu anak dara dok berjalan sorang-sorang. Semoga Allah lindungi aku. Itu saja yang hati kecil ni mintak.

Maka setelah selesai solat maghrib, berjalan dengan Mah menuju ke kulliyyah economics. Kelas kat situ. Tak tahu kenapa suka sangat la management campak kitaorang kat tempat jauh-jauh.

huh. jangan mengeluh nabihah!

* * *

Content pengajian pada malam tu, ustaz mulakan dengan satu kata-kata/ayat,

"Why Allah doesn't want women to be sad?"

Kemudian ustaz bawa datang hujah-hujah dalam Al-Qur'an untuk menyokong argument yang dinyatakan olehnya awal tadi.

Surah Al-Ahzab dan Surah Al-Qasas.

Secara kesimpulannya, Allah tak nak tengok perempuan itu dalam keadaan sedih/bersedih.

Kenapa? 

Dan kenapa tidak dinyatakan bahawa Allah tak suka tengok lelaki pula bersedih?

Then, that day.. topic yang berputar adalah berkaitan "Avoiding women from sadness"

 * * *

Pada awalnya, ingatkan topic ni ustaz nak focus pada isteri tetapi sebaliknya ibu.

She is the person that we should take care of, not making them sad or in trouble.

Menghighlightkan pasal ibu terlebih dahulu, kemudian turun kepada adik beradik perempuan dan barulah di ceritakan perihal isteri.

Sebab, sebelum seorang lelaki itu menjadi seorang suami yang terbaik untuk isteri, dia terlebih dahulu perlu menjadi seorang anak dan juga abang/adik lelaki yang baik terhadap bunga-bunga yang terdekat dengannya (ibu dan adik beradik perempuan)

"If you never want your husband make you sad, never do that to your parents"

Atas tu pula ayat yang ustaz voice out kepada sisters.

Walaupun mudah katanya, ayat tu selalu je kita dengar kat mana-mana, tapi dalam kelas semalam.. bila ustaz bagi statement tu, it was really tembus dalam kepala.. menusuk kat hati..

Make me think. Masa seolah-olah terhenti seketika.

And yes, what we give we will get back. Whether soon or late.

 * * *

Why we should make women happy?

it is because, women play a big role in the society.

when women are happy, they can able to support men in this world.

For example, in term of family institution,

if they are treated well, their emotional and psychological are able to prepare them for educate the ummah.

As what we know, men are responsible to work and earn something for their family, then men needs someone who can take care the welfare of their property.

Property here means their (men) happiness in home.

Women are not slaves for the husbands. Women are not bibik for them. not at all.

Women are functioning to entertain their husband.

It should be when a husband reach at home after a long tiring day at work,

he will find happiness and solemnness when he finally meets his wife.

Kan isteri cerdik yang solehah itu penyejuk mata penawan hati penajam fikiran. hee :D

* * *

Soalan yang ustaz tanya pada sisters,

"Have you ever make you mother sad?"

La budda, mestilah pernah. Since we are not free from making mistakes.

In this question also made me think, that to be a mother sometimes we may loose respect from our own children.

And how strong we could be on that time?

Making our mother sad,

it shouldn't be a good habit to keep going on.

I am thinking to be more sensitive about my mother's feeling. I am about to change my attitude.

Of course for all this while, its not that I don't want to take care of what does she feel,

but because it is too complicated sometimes to understand her.

For sure, in any moment I used to find out that my argument is right and her argument is wrong,

and this is one of the usual matter that led to misunderstanding between us. huhu

I had an experience to see, ba was scolded by Wae (her mother).

He was scolded for one misunderstood. And I know the reality ba wasn't wrong at all.

What he did is actually the right thing.

But because Wae a bit late to understand the situation, so she scolded ba.

And I never saw my own father was being in that moment before.

It was really a rare situation for me as her daughter.

But what was his reaction?

He just nodded his head. Not trying to win argument with her own mother. But just zipped his mouth.

That scene was always play in my mind,

but I cant implemented it in my life before, because I yet achieved a state of maturity.

Now, its not that I am matured enough but I preferred to say, I am in my way to become mature.

Its 21 years old already.

And for you,

Umi..

I am really sorry for making you sad before this..

I am really sorry if I did mistakes and I just ignored it.

you deserve my respect,

because you are the door of my Jannah.

 * * *

Another question that ustaz did asked us,

"Sister, which one do you prefer if one day you will get birth, boy or girl you want to be as your first child?"

Most of sisters, including me choose boy as our first child.

Some of us just ok whether it is boy or girl. Don't mind.

And one of our sister said,

"I want both, twins with different faces"

MashaAllah, then everyone is laughing. Not to laugh for her answer but laugh sebab terhibur dengar jawapan. Rare.

Then ustaz said,

"Sister, it is good for you to have twins but when they reach their adulthood, they have the same age and probability for both of them to get married in the same time is high.. and lastly you will left alone at home.."

We laughed with what had ustaz said.

Meanwhile,

the question for brothers,

"How if, when you get married then your wife only give you baby girls.. but before this you really wanted to have baby boys.. so how will you react?"

Some of their answers;

1. Believing in qada' and qadar.

2. Adopting the orphan.

3. Just be grateful with what Allah gives.

4. Feel frustrated.

5. Marry another one.

but I don't want to explain a lot about their answer because I am a sister and I don't know how do they think.

( If you, what will be your answer? )

*What ustaz gave to us,

"Don't wish to have what others have, be grateful with what Allah has gives to you. Because sometimes, we don't know what is actually hiding behind the beauty or pleasure matter owned by others."

And always to be remembered,

"Not every dreams will become reality, just have a faith that what we have is the best for us."

 * * *

What else our discussion that night?

1. Ustaz shared about new discovery regarding blood groups.

B+ meets B- , then probability to produce child is high.

B+ meets B+ , then the probability to produce child is low.

This is how sometimes, when a couple of husband and wife they cant produce offspring but when they divorce and both of them get married another person, they able to produce offspring.

(What I wrote up there is based on the story ustaz shared to us during the class and the information maybe right or maybe wrong. For those who know and find any wrong with that statement.. do tell me and I will edit this notes. Tq in advance)

2. Sharing issues about divorce that related to the cases where the spouse cant produce offspring.

3. Husband getting married again when his wife wasn't able to give him child.

and much more.

That's all I want to share,

may it will give benefit to others.

Thank you for reading ;)

at Mahallah Ruqayyah, IIUM.